Site Contents

What is Stress? - the STRess model

How to deal with stress - your ideas

Alleviating stress through self-help. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff -and it's all small stuff

Alleviating stress through better time-management

Alleviating stress through better communication - Assertiveness training

Alleviating stress through cognitive therapy

POWER to reduce stress - a problem-solving approach

Further Reading on Stress management and Web Stress Resources

What is Stress? - the STRess model

• Stress can be defined as "the response when an individual perceives an imbalance between the demands placed upon them and their ability to meet those demands". (Stephen Palmer)

• This modern, cognitive, definition is an improvement on 1930s behaviourist explanations of stress in terms of too heavy a demand being placed on an individual, as it emphasises that stress results from the interaction between a person and their environment.

• Signs of stress include negative emotions (e.g. anxiety, anger), unpleasant physical warning signs (e.g. fatigue, headaches) and unhelpful behaviours (e.g. over-reacting, using alcohol or drugs)

• More than half a million people suffer from stress.every year. Stress costs UK industry more than 6 million days a year at a cost of £5 billion annually As well as being bad news for industry, its bad news for you and me if we are suffering from stress. Not only is too much stress unpleasant in itself, it can also put us at more risk of serious illnesses such as heart disease, depression, anxiety and possibly cancer According to stress experts Angela Clow and Stephen Palmer "a sustained period of stress can increase our chance of succumbing to a range of illnesses".

• A useful model is to split up stress into three stages:-

1)State of the person

2)Triggering event

3)Reaction (NB STR are the first three letters of stress...)

States (including character traits and skills) that predispose you to high levels of stress include:-

1. Lack of Sleep
2. Recent life crises ("feeling stressed out" mood)
3. Poor time-management skills
4. Lack of assertiveness skills

Triggers that predispose you to stress include:-

1. Death of a loved one
2. Divorce/separation
3. Moving house or moving job
4. Very long hours of work
5. Being bullied (at school or work)
   

Reactions that predispose you to stress include:-

1. Perfectionism
2. All-or-nothing thinking
3. Self/other damning statements

 How to deal with stress - your ideas

Chloe is a 26 year old teacher who has been working at a tough inner-city secondary school for 6 months. Though she has always been drawn to teaching, she has found the realities very difficult. Far from being able to convey her love of English literature - her subject - she finds her time and energy sapped just by keeping control of the class. Outside the class, she feels overwhelmed by the amount of administration and bureaucracy. She has recently taken a week off work and has been referred to you for counselling by her GP. What are the main things that you think is leading to Chloe's stress? What might help her be less stressed out? Can you model her situation in terms of state, trigger and reaction Current state: Triggers: Reactions:

Mike introduces himself a 35 year old high-flying investment banker. He has always been a success, and is now rattled by what he describes as a "double-whammy". his wife is threatening him with a divorce , because she says he spends too long at the bank and is either emotionally cold or angry when he is at home. His bank is being taken over and Mike is worried he will lose his job. Mike has had trouble sleeping and is in a state of constant agitation. What are the main things that you think is leading to Mike's stress? What might help him be less stressed out? Can you model his situation in terms of state, trigger and reaction. Current state: Triggers: Reactions:

Jane is a 30 year old counsellor working for an organisation. Recently a couple of counsellors have left the practice and her workload has been increased a lot. She used to look forward to her sessions, but now finds herself thinking "I'm not as good as Mary” (one of the more experienced counsellors who left) and "I won't be able to cope". You are a friend of Jane's -she says she is very stressed out and thinking of chucking it all in. What advice can you offer her? What are the main things that you think is leading to Jane's stress? What might help her be less stressed out? Can you model her situation in terms of state, trigger and reaction. Current state: Triggers: Reactions:

Sarah is a single-parent mother of 3 children who is also trying to combine being a mother with having a career. Her youngest is 9 months old and she has just returned to work. Her youngest keeps her awake at night, and she describes her whole life as a rollercoaster of stress, stress, stress. Dealing with the children's problems, dropping them off to school or child-minder, being too tired to work effectively, losing her temper when she gets back home. What are the main things that you think is leading to Sarah's current stress? What might help her be less stressed out? Can you model her situation in terms of state, trigger and reaction. Current state: Triggers: Reactions:

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - and its all small stuff

                    “Life is far too important, short and magical to spend it sweating the little things.” (Richard Carlson)

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... provides numerous nuggets to help you and your clients deal with stress. Amongst the most apposite of the 100 essays are:-

#3 Let Go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People can't be overachievers

#13 Become more Patient

#18 Allow yourself to be bored

# 19 Lower your tolerance to stress

# 26 Set Aside Quiet Time, every day

#53 See the Glass as Already Broken (And Everything Else too)

# 58 Relax

# 60 Turn your Melodrama into a Mellow-Drama

#71 Quiet the mind

#72 Take Up Yoga

# 82 Remember, One Hundred Years from Now, All New People

Stephen Covey , a leading American management guru, talks about the importance of "living in quadrant two". He separates tasks into four quadrants, depending on their importance and urgency.

	Urgent	Not-Urgent
Important	ONE crises, deadlines pressing problems Living by crises	TWO planning, relationship-building, taking stock Living effectively
Not important	THREE some calls, some mail, interruptions Living irresponsibly	FOUR watching TV, pleasant activities some calls Living irresponsibly

Covey's Great Question

What one thing could you be doing in a) your personal life b) your professional life

that, if you did it on a regular basis, would make a tremendous positive difference to your life?

This is likely to be a quadrant two activity. How much time do you actually spend on it ? Be proactive about spending more time on it. To do this you have to say "No" to quadrant three and four activities.

Alan Lakein, who describes himself as a "time planning & life goals consultant", says there is one question which is the key to successful time-management

Lakein's question

    What is the best use of my time right now?

According to Lakein, asking yourself this question as often as possible will create proactivity and allow one to avoid time-wasters (in Covey's terminology, it will help one stay in quadrants 1 and 2).

A possible problem is that you'll never get big tasks done, because you won't be able to envisage getting the final results - so Lakein recommends what he calls "The swiss cheese" method, which pokes holes into big tasks to make them instant tasks.

The Swiss Cheese method

1) Ask yourself "what (of this big task) can I get done in five minutes ? "

2) Do it !

3) Go back to stage 1

David Allen, and his highly popular book, Getting Things Done - the art of stress free productivity provides further ideas on stress management. One idea I like from Gettings things done that can help reduce stress is The 2-minute Rule. This sates “If it would take less than 2 minutes to do something, just do it right away.” This saves time worrying about whether to do something, and also later stressing out about not having got things done!

Alleviating stress by dealing with people better - Assertiveness

Assertive communication is a way of dealing with others in an adult, honest way. It is to be contracted with aggressive behaviour, which involves bullying others, and passive behaviour, where one's feelings and wishes are left unstated. Assertiveness can be useful at various stages of the stress cycle - for example in helping you to question the reasonableness of the demand, or to ask someone for help to complete it.

Following these rules will help you become more assertive:-

1) Express what you feel

2) Be calm and relaxed

3) Be specific and clear

4) Talk in terms of what you prefer rather than what is morally right. This is more honest, and tends to make other people less defensive.

5) Acknowledge what the other person says. This makes them feel listened to, and can take the heat out of arguments.

Alleviating stress by cognitive therapy

Table 1: Distortions in Thinking (Source: Burns, p 8-9)

Table 2: Ways to Untwist thinking (Source: Burns, p 118-9)

Think of a situation where you have been stressed out. Try to remember your thoughts, or the thoughts you might have expressed if someone had asked you what was going on in your mind.

Look for cognitive distortions (table 1)

Try to find suitable ways to untwist the distortions (table 2)

 POWER to alleviate stress - a problem-solving approach

P - what is the Problem that is making you stressed out?

O - what are the Options that will help deal with the problem?

W - what are your important Wants connected to the problem?

E - Evaluate the options in terms of your wants

R - React to the problem wisely and then - Relax.

1. What is the problem/are the problems causing you to be stressed?

I now feel (write down - honestly and giving a rating from 0 to 10 - how stressed out you are by this problem)

..................................................................................................................................................

..................................................................................................................................................

2. What are the possible options?

After writing down options that immediately spring to mind, you might like to try some 'focussed brainstorming' to come up with more options.

How can I get into a better state for dealing with this problem?

e.g. diet, sleep, yoga, meditation, time-management, being more assertive ....

How could I avoid future triggers of similar problems

e.g. changing jobs, changing roles in current job, moving, changing relationships

How can I react better to triggers of stress

e.g. become more aware of thoughts and distortions, replace with more constructive thoughts

3. What do I WANT?

Think about what you want from this situation. One desired outcome is sure to be less stress, but remember that other things may be important do (e.g. a good career, friends, good intimate relationships).

4. Evaluate the options in terms of your wants.

Remember that options are not always mutually exclusive.

Come up with an option (or set of options that you can put in place together) that satisfies as many as possible important wants.

5. React powerfully to the problem -and relax.

My solution is to (list the option(s) you have decided on) ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

This will help me to (put your important wants below)

..................................................................................................................................................

..................................................................................................................................................

I now feel (write down - honestly and giving a rating from 0 to 10 - how stressed out you are by this problem)

..................................................................................................................................................

Further Recommended Reading  on Stress and Stress Management

Allen, D. Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-free Productivity

Burns, D. The Feeling Good Handbook

Carlson, R. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and It's All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life

Covey, S.  7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Lakein, A. How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life (Signet Books)

Palmer, S. and Dryden, W.  Counselling for Stress Problems (Counselling in Practice)

Peiffer, V.   Stress Management: The Only Introduction You'll Ever Need (Principles of)

LeBon.T  Achieve Your Potential with Positive Psychology - has several relevant chapters, new in 2014

Internet - many recommended web sites on stress and stress management, including

http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTCS_00.htm

http://www.imt.net/~randolfi/StressLinks.html

http://www.clevelandclinic.org/health/health-info/docs/0000/0069.asp?index=4606

http://www.managingstress.com Centre for Stress management

'Learning How to Manage Stress in the Workplace'
http://www.cornerstoneondemand.com/learning-how-manage-stress-workplace

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http://www.timlebon.com/stress.html